Intro

I don't know you, you don't know me. You may like regular Pop Tarts, I might like frosted. But one thing we all have in common: everyone's sick of blogs. Blogs are like dentists or jewelers who sell engagement rings. Everyone's got "their guy." You don't really want to go, but you go anyway. And before you know it, you've got a stonecutter's drill 4 inches into your molar, or somebody just took a few thousand dollars out of your pocket and handed you a transparent rock that cost some kid his arm.

Most blogs fancy themselves as the thinking man's personal MySpace/Facebook/Hey Look At Me I Have Over 6000 Friends Have Sex With Me website. Most blogs have at least one post that reads "Went to Josh's last night. I hate him. I think we had sex, I can't remember." even if they don't know someone named Josh. Most blogs try to be meaningful politically or socially. Most blogs expect you to care about their children. Thirty percent of blogs don't believe in evolution. Half of all blogs aged 15 to 19 have had oral sex. Blogs can expect to be the victim of at least one violent crime in their lifetime.

I think you get what I'm trying to say. Wait, I don't really know what I was trying to say. Oh yeah, here it is: BLOGS HAVE BEEN DONE TO DEATH, why are you doing another one?

I have no defense. I am what I despise. I am a hypocrite. I have nothing new to add except a new perspective on shit you've seen every day of your life. Is that enough? No. It's not. That is why I recommend shutting out all blogs. Including this one. No one should care what I think about anything. So, in the spirit of Paddy Chayefsky, Stop reading this blog! Stop reading it right now, in the middle of this sentence! Stop it! I mean it! You will get nothing out of it! Nothing!